Birthday Cake Fiasco
by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds
Summary: They were trying to bake a cake for Hermione's birthday…only problem was none of them knew how to bake. When someone 'swoops' in to save the day it leaves them shocked. "Hagrid could have made a prettier cake". George/OC bit of Hermione/Snape


"We're going to end up poisoning her" Harriett muttered under her breath. George glanced ruefully down at his clothes. They both resembled ghosts as flour covered nearly every inch of their bodies. Fred was sitting at the table looking at the recipe book "you know they only DID say 2 cups of flour" Fred smirked "looks like you've got maybe 12 cups on you Harriett and about 10 on you George". Harriett threw a spatula at him. They were trying to bake a cake for Hermione's birthday…only problem was none of them knew how to bake.

Fred glanced down at the recipe "oh, did you preheat the oven to 350 degrees?" Harriett looked baffled "preheat?" she asked confused glaring at the big black contraption "how do you preheat?" George came over to stand next to her "maybe like this" he said punching in 350 into the timer. The light went on and the plate inside began spinning as 3:50 counted down. Harriett puzzled "I thought the oven was below it?" George swore violently and shut the microwave off "good point" they puzzled for a few minutes over what to do but eventually the oven was heating up.

Fred glanced at the recipe idly dipping his finger in the chocolate frosting. "Ok you stirred the sugar, flour, cocoa and baking soda into the bowl right?" Harriett swore "forgot about the baking soda" she rummaged through the cabinet "baking soda?" she asked pulling out an orange box. George took it and dumped a handful in his hand, tossing it into his mouth he made a face "ish bakin shoda awight" he said foaming at the mouth.

Harriett and Fred doubled over laughing as he rinsed it out. Wiping his mouth he turned to his brother "how much?" "1 ½ teaspoon" they glanced at each other in confusion "what's a teaspoon?" George asked confused Harriett shrugged and rummaged through the silverware drawer "I think this is a teaspoon" she said pulling out a small silver spoon used to stir tea.

George smiled proudly at his girlfriend "brilliant!" he said "1 and a half" he filled the spoon up full the first time and half the second "okay now what" "teaspoon of salt" "ok" "in a separate bowl combine eggs, milk, oil and vanilla" "how much of each?" Harriett asked "2 eggs, 2/3 cup milk, ½ cup oil and two teaspoons vanilla" Harriett nodded and pulled out a mug from the cabinet "it didn't specify what kind of cup did it?" she asked Fred who shook his head. They combined the mix "umm are you sure the directions were right?" she asked looking at the milky substance in the bowl "you've got to whisk it" he said "how do we whisk?" "I dunno…maybe spin the bowl?" Harriett held the rim and George held the other side "ok 1, 2, 3 go!" Harriett cried and the two rapidly spun in a circle.

Eventually they were covered in the mixture and breathing heavily "apparently not" George said glaring as egg dripped off his nose. Fred shrugged and turned to the glossary "ohh the whisk is an egg-shaped wire thing…we have one" once they redid the mixture they 'whisked' it for real. "That looks better" Harriett beamed. "Now stir in a cup of boiling water by hand" Harriett swore "you're joking right?" she glared at the bubbling water "no way am I holding it" George sighed "I'll pour you stir" Harriett glanced warily at him "this is insane" she muttered. George called Fred over to pour the water into his hands.

He bit his tongue as the boiling water scalded him and he quickly dumped it in. The going was slow as George needed to take a break to ease the pain. Eventually the water was in. "Now fold the egg mixture into the other one" Fred said glancing at the book. Harriett looked at the bowls oddly "folding?" she asked "what on earth do they mean by that?" the twins shrugged and the trio studied the bowls. "Do you know any folding spells?" George asked Fred who shook his head "not me…Harriett?" the brunette shook her head "only for clothes" George shrugged "give it a shot".

At the end of their endeavor they were dripping in chocolate, eggs and milk. Harriett swore explosively "might I enquire what the meaning of this chaos is?" a cold voice said from the door. The trio whirled around, messy and sweating to see a very irate-looking Professor Snape. "What are you doing here Professor?" Harriett asked mildly surprised. "It doesn't concern you Miss Potter…but I am sure Molly Weasley will want to know what happened to her kitchen" the trio blushed and looked down "well umm…" George began "we were trying to bake a cake" Harriett confessed. Professor Snape studied them "clearly you are not succeeding. I have been watching you for the past 15 minutes. Everything you did was completely wrong" Snape glared around the room.

He waved his wand and the mess disappeared. He glanced at the book "ok first get out the ingredients…"

By early evening the cake was safely in the oven. Despite Snape grouching and snapping at them the entire time they were relieved that he knew what he was doing. "I didn't know the Dungeon Bat knew how to bake" Harriett whispered to the twins who shook their heads in unison "we didn't either" they chorused. Eventually the cakes were sitting on the counter and the trio began frosting it quite haphazardly. George globbed a huge amount of frosting and spread it around slightly unevenly.

They stood back and studied their work The trio grinned ruefully, the 4-layer extreme chocolate cake resembled the Leaning Tower of Pisa and the frosting was thick enough to cover two cakes Fred chuckled "no doubt". George dug out 18 sparklers and jabbed them in the cake. They studied the mass of lumpy frosting and what looked like wooden spikes skewering haphazardly "Hagrid could have made a prettier cake" Harriett giggled and both twins agreed.

There was a rap on the door and George went to open it "Hello Hermione" he greeted. Harriett swore again and dumped the cake on the center of the table causing Snape to jump. She mumbled "incendio" as flames sprung from her wand. She swore and tried to keep it from burning the cake and the sparklers lit up. Harriett smiled and shut off the lights "crap" she said fumbling her way in the darkness. She stumbled and crash landed on something soft. Feeling around she realized that she had landed in the lap of none other than Severus Snape. Harriett was incredibly grateful the lights were off so he couldn't see the bright red blush creeping up her face.

She heard footsteps approaching the kitchen and several moments later the Weasley's, Sirius Black, the Lupins and Harry Potter crowded the small kitchen. After a flurry of "shh's" and "shut the fuck up mate's" the group quieted down. Harriett, having successfully extricated herself from her unceremonious and awkward landing on her teacher's lap positioned herself by the light. More footsteps and shushing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERMIONE" the group said and Harriett flicked on the lights.

Hermione gasped and giggled at the lopsided cake "who made this?" the cake-baking trio blushed "it's our proudest disaster" Harriett smiled gazing into the eyes of her boyfriend. She crossed over to Hermione, who had tears in her eyes "Happy 18th birthday Mione" she said handing her friend a present. Hermione giggled and blew out the candles. Amidst the cheering and shouting a voice called "you're finally legal" causing Hermione to blush. "This is the best birthday ever" she smiled gazing around at her friends, her eyes, overflowing with hidden emotions lingering on a certain dark-haired Professor…

**A/N it was a retelling of mine (and two of my brothers) attempts to bake our parents an anniversary cake and honest to goddess everything is exactly how it happened in real life (aside from the magic and Harry Potter people…I did fall into my teachers lap and that led to something interesting…) however, I am pleased to say I am not as woefully horrible at baking as I used to be…I just leave a disaster ;) some Snape/Hermione in there…if you want me to make a sequel detailing what exactly that little lingering gaze led to let me know. 3**


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